Hyperleggera

Decapitation In the Style of Calvin and Hobbes

In Cold Blood

If you have to drive in snow, please be on the look­out for snow­men. They lack both fine motor con­trol and a good sense of hear­ing. This can result in tragic accidents.

Words: Peter Orosz | Pic­tures: Natalie Polgar + Peter Orosz

It has snowed six inches overnight and how awe­some is that! In a frenzy you dig for warm clothes and a tobog­gan but then you real­ize a late winter day with low-​hanging clouds and inter­mit­tent flur­ries is just not the same when you’ve grown up.

Not when you have to get to work in a city noto­ri­ous for its erratic snow­plow sched­ule. On winter tires run down to the very treads.

Speed­ing down the hill, it is only when you hear the inim­itable thud of a snow­man hit by your car’s grille that you real­ize just how quickly these guys emerge after snow­fall. Years of post­na­tal devel­op­ment com­press into a span of but a few hours for snow humans.

Yet trag­i­cally, their giant, frozen bodies do not come with either fine motor con­trol or ade­quate hear­ing. And once you get out of the car to survey the damage and hope for the best, you real­ize that their cer­vi­cal ver­te­brae and neck mus­cu­la­ture also leave a lot to be desired.

Inspired by a Calvin and Hobbes strip.

∞ Published on Monday, February 23rd, 2009

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